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    Depression

    Breaking the Silence: How to Help a Friend with Depression

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    Breaking the Silence: How to Help a Friend with Depression

    As social and empathetic creatures, it’s natural for us to want to provide support to loved ones dealing with depression. Witnessing their struggles can be distressing, and we can empathize with the feeling of having our own lives unravel.

    However, due to the intricate nature of depression, it can be challenging to determine the best course of action. This difficulty can be amplified when someone we care about is displaying signs of significant distress, and we’re unsure how to handle the situation.

    We may feel apprehensive about making a mistake or exacerbating the problem in some way.

    Be encouraged because you have company, and there are numerous approaches to provide assistance. It’s feasible not only to aid someone going through a tough period but also to prioritize taking care of your own mental wellbeing.

    This write-up will outline typical indications and warning signs of depression and provide guidance on how to support someone dealing with it, while simultaneously ensuring that you are looking after yourself.

    Spotting the signs of depression

    As per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) statistics of 2019, a minimum of 4.7% of adults residing in the United States experience depression. Additionally, according to a report from Mental Health America in 2021, the number of individuals seeking mental health assistance rose significantly due to the worldwide pandemic.

    It’s crucial to recognize that depression is a distinctive encounter for every person. Here are a few that you might identify in your loved one:

    • feeling sadness or low spirits
    • looking fatigued or appearing “shut down”
    • sleeping more, or less, than normal
    • having fluctuations in appetite
    • experiencing weight fluctuations
    • expressing guilt, shame, helplessness, or hopelessness
    • being pessimistic about the future
    • skipping activities or quality time together
    • being more reclusive or less communicative
    • having difficulty focusing in conversation or seeming distracted
    • having trouble remembering things
    • being quicker to anger or more irritable than usual
    • losing interest in hobbies or activities
    • discussing death or self-harm
    • experiencing physical symptoms, like headaches or an upset stomach

    As evident, there are numerous factors contributing to depression. It could be a result of a combination of factors, such as genetic predisposition, personal background, traumatic experiences, substance abuse, significant life transitions, occupational pressure, family issues, or even an underlying health condition.

    In the upcoming sections, we’ll explore essential methods you can use to support someone dealing with depression.

    1. Listen to them

    Depression can lead to feelings of isolation for some individuals. To support them, it’s crucial to let them know that they have your companionship and to be open to what they want to share. It’s not necessary to complicate things.

    All that is needed is to listen to what they are going through without attempting to solve their issues, provide unsolicited guidance, or criticize their emotions. Depression is not something that can be quickly overcome or dismissed.

    If it were, the individual would have already done so. If you can empathize with their situation, you can share your own experience and any lessons you learned from it. Many individuals want to feel understood and cared for.

    Additionally, you can offer resources to demonstrate that they are not alone.

    2. Help them find support

    It can be a daunting task for someone with depression to seek help. With so many options available, such as doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, helplines, and forums, it can become overwhelming.

    At times, individuals may find it easier to delay seeking help altogether. You can make a difference by offering to research and locate support resources on their behalf.

    Here are some useful websites to consider:

    If your loved one is open to the idea of online therapy, you can assist them by exploring different options such as BetterHelp or Talkspace, or by visiting our website for more resources.

    Once they begin treatment, it’s crucial to encourage them to continue with their therapy sessions. If they mention the possibility of discontinuing medication or quitting therapy, advise them to first consult with a mental health professional.

    Additionally, you can share your observations of the positive changes you have seen in them since they started seeking help.

    3. Offer to help with tasks

    People with depression often find that even simple activities, such as brushing their teeth or cleaning the kitchen, can be emotionally exhausting. Therefore, offering to help with seemingly small tasks can significantly improve their day.

    If you have the ability, you can offer to assist by doing things like starting a load of laundry, walking their dog, watching their kids for a few hours, or driving them to the store.

    4. Stay in touch

    Depression often leads to a decrease in motivation, making it difficult for individuals to respond to messages, emails, or social invitations. Additionally, it can lead to feelings of guilt or embarrassment about their inability to complete tasks.

    Therefore, it’s important to take the initiative and extend invitations to spend time together, as they may not reach out themselves. Communicate that you care about them and would enjoy spending time with them when they are ready.

    Eventually, your kindness will be returned.

    5. Do positive activities together

    Studies have demonstrated that engaging in certain activities can have a positive impact on one’s mood, such as practicing yoga, swimming, spending time in nature, or creating art. If your loved one is open to the idea, propose doing one of these activities together.

    6. Bring over your fur baby

    Studies have indicated that pets have the potential to positively impact our mental well-being by reducing stress, alleviating loneliness, and triggering the release of mood-boosting hormones when we interact with them.

    Your loved one may experience an improvement in their mood just by spending time with a furry friend, so consider bringing your own pet along.

    Additionally, you can assist them in finding resources for adopting a pet of their own and registering it as an Emotional Support Animal.

    Warning signs to look out for

    Living with depression can increase the likelihood of self-harm or suicide. According to recent statistics, approximately 12 million people in the US consider suicide each year, and 1.4 million people attempt suicide.

    Warning signs of suicide risk can include:

    • Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself
    • Looking for a way to kill oneself, such as searching online or obtaining a gun
    • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
    • Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain
    • Talking about being a burden to others
    • Increasing use of alcohol or drugs
    • Acting anxious or agitated, or behaving recklessly
    • Withdrawing or feeling isolated
    • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
    • Displaying extreme mood swings
    • Giving away prized possessions or saying goodbye to loved ones
    • Sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm or other lethal means.

    If you or someone you know is experiencing any of these warning signs, it is important to seek immediate help from a mental health professional or call a suicide prevention hotline.

    To recognize the signs of suicidal behavior, it’s important to stay calm and observe the person’s behavior.

    If you notice any warning signs, ask them directly if they are having suicidal thoughts. It’s a common myth that talking about suicide will increase the risk, but it’s actually helpful to have an open conversation about it.

    Encourage them to reach out to their therapist or psychiatrist immediately, and offer to be there with them during the call. If you believe they are in immediate danger, call 911 or take them to the nearest emergency room.

    While you wait for professional help, make sure they don’t have access to any harmful items like weapons or drugs.

    Suicide prevention

    If you’re in the United States and need help right now, text “NAMI” to 741741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

    If you’re outside the United States, find your country’s suicide prevention hotline through the International Association for Suicide Prevention.

    Look after yourself, too

    Supporting someone with depression can be a demanding task that requires a lot of emotional energy. Therefore, it’s essential to take care of yourself as well by engaging in activities that bring you joy and recharge your emotional batteries regularly.

    Make sure you’re aware of what activities or practices help you feel fulfilled and prioritize them in your daily routine. It’s important to keep your own cup full to be able to support your loved one effectively.

    Mark your calendar

    Schedule some alone time for yourself on a weekly basis and prioritize it as you would any other important obligation. This could involve various self-care activities like taking a relaxing yoga class, getting a massage, or finally watching that movie you’ve been wanting to see.

    Start a journal

    You can use a journal as a tool to process your emotions that arise from dealing with someone who has depression, without burdening them with those emotions. It’s common to feel a range of emotions such as frustration, exhaustion, anger, confusion, or hurt.

    By writing them down in a journal, you can give yourself space to acknowledge and work through them without feeling judged. If you’re not sure how to start, our website may provide some helpful resources.

    Set boundaries

    Recognize your boundaries and avoid pushing yourself too hard. When you feel your energy fading, it’s time to step back and take a break. It’s not your responsibility to be the sole problem solver for the individual.

    For instance, inform your friend or family member that you need to disconnect and take some rest after a specific time, unless there’s a critical emergency. Let them know that you’ll be accessible again the next day or when it’s convenient for you.

    Learn about depression

    Educating yourself on how to communicate with someone who has depression can help you navigate interactions and avoid making things worse.

    By understanding what to say and what not to say, you can avoid taking things personally if your loved one cancels plans or becomes irritable.

    Recognizing that these are symptoms of depression, rather than personal attacks, can help you maintain a healthy relationship with them.

    Find your own support

    If you’re supporting a loved one with depression, it can be emotionally taxing and may even make you feel depressed. Consider seeing a therapist to help you cope and develop a plan to manage your own mental health. Joining a support group can also be helpful as it allows you to connect with others who are going through similar experiences. Look for free and confidential NAMI family support groups in your area.

    What’s next

    Dealing with depression is a challenge not only for the person who is experiencing it but also for those around them. If you want to explore more about this topic, here are some additional resources you can check out:

    The key takeaway is that there is always hope, as depression is treatable and new resources are constantly emerging. Make sure to offer your loved one reassurance and support, and remember to do the same for yourself.

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